“Perfectionism and Anxiety: Why ‘Good Enough’ Really Is Enough”

“I’ll relax once everything’s done.”

Sound familiar?
If you live with anxiety and perfectionism, it can feel like peace is always waiting on the other side of one more task, one more check, one more flawless performance. But perfectionism doesn’t create peace, it postpones it.

Perfectionism: the anxious overachiever’s disguise

Perfectionism often looks like motivation, success, and reliability on the outside. But underneath, it’s fueled by fear fear of failure, rejection, or being “too much” or “not enough.”

You might:

• Replay conversations to make sure you didn’t say the wrong thing

• Avoid new opportunities because you’re afraid to mess up

• Work long hours but never feel accomplished

• Tie your self-worth to productivity or others’ approval

Perfectionism promises control, but really, it feeds anxiety. It tells you that peace will come after you’ve done everything right but that “right” keeps moving farther away.

Where anxiety and perfectionism meet

Anxiety thrives on uncertainty, and perfectionism tries to eliminate it. Together, they form a cycle that feels endless:

Anxiety says, “What if I fail?”
Perfectionism answers, “Then don’t make a mistake.”
Anxiety says, “But what if I do?”
And so the pressure builds.

Therapy helps interrupt that loop not by lowering your standards, but by helping you let go of the belief that perfection is required for safety, success, or self-worth.

The freedom in “good enough”

“Good enough” doesn’t mean careless or lazy. It means human. It means recognizing that your value doesn’t depend on flawless performance. Through therapies like ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) and CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy), you learn to notice self-critical thoughts without obeying them and act according to your values rather than your fears.

“Good enough” is actually what allows growth because it leaves space for mistakes, flexibility, and compassion.

Healing the root of perfectionism

In trauma-informed care, we often see that perfectionism isn’t just a personality trait, it’s a protection strategy.
Maybe doing everything “right” once kept you safe, earned approval, or helped you feel in control when life felt unpredictable.

In Internal Family Systems (IFS)-informed therapy, we explore the different “parts” of you that show up when perfectionism takes over. The part that pushes you to do more, the part that criticizes when you fall short, and the part that feels deep shame or fear underneath it all.

Instead of fighting these parts, we meet them with curiosity and compassion. When your inner critic feels understood rather than silenced, it begins to soften. Self-compassion allows you to see that every part of you (even the perfectionist) has been trying to protect you from pain.

In therapy, we honor that part of you and help it rest. You can still be capable, ambitious, and driven without letting perfection run the show.

When you stop chasing perfect, you start living

Imagine living a life where progress matters more than perfection, where rest isn’t earned, but allowed.
It’s not about giving up on your goals. It’s about finally letting go of the anxiety that tells you you’re never enough.